Self Identity

I find myself often wondering who I am. What defines me as a person? Am I just a wife and future mother? Or am a dedicated employee at a company that may not notice at all? Am I defined by my past mistakes or looked as someone that can shape my my future however I wish it could be?

I don't know, honestly. I am a wife. I am a daughter. I hope that I will make a good mother in the future. I am creative when I'm not lazy, which believe me, I'm lazy. But I would do anything for my family.

So who am I really?

Romance is not dead...

We see it on movies and read it in books. You know what I'm talking about, women! It's romance! And we crave it. We want something surreal and almost fairy tale like in our lives. But maybe we have it and we don't realize it.

My husband and I have our fights. Who doesn't? But last night he came home with flowers. He told me loved and wanted me to know how happy he was with me. My heart still melts just thinking about it.

So what I think we, as women, need to do is open our eyes. If we're lacking something in our relationship, maybe we shouldn't expect it to change without us saying something to change it. Believe it or not, not all men were built to show us scenes from Dirty Dancing or The Notebook. Or maybe, just maybe, they're writing their own love story for us.

Fighting for Myself

So today is a big day for me. This may sound silly to everyone, but it's the day where I begin my commitment to myself to keep myself healthy.  Paul has been going to the gym regularly and I've been proud of him for that. Now it's my turn.

My doctor suggested walking 30 minutes a day for 3 or 4 days a week. I think I will do that!  I will not push myself and if I get tired, I will take a break. But for me and my baby, I think I need to do this. I'm hoping it will make me feel better about myself too. I have been having some self image issues.

Happy News...

My hubby got called back for a job today. And I'm breathing a sigh of relief.

I know money isn't everything. That's what "they" say. Well, I'm going to say however these "they" people are, have alot of it and do not have the struggles of dealing without it. Money is a hard thing to get get, yet somehow so easy to lose. And with a baby on the way, my worries about money have only increased.

Hopefully now we can start to dig ourselves out and get started on a good life for both of us and our new little one.

Impatience will get you every time...

Today I have been having a difficult time dealing with my impatience. I have been looking up baby blanket patternes for my upcoming bundle of joy and getting frustrated that many of the yarn choices are generally gender related. I have had a few people telling me to pick something neutral or with all of the baby pastel colors. But since it will be a winter baby, I was thinking about having a different color theme...

Still thinking about it, so I won't announce it or anything, but I think I may do something a little different.

You all know I like different!

What did you pick for your baby theme?

Getting my (very small) coffee break in this morning!

So yesterday I got the joy of playing phone tag with the doctor's office that I go to. They called to tell me I need to do my three hour glucose test as soon as possible (It's usually not a good thing when a doctor seems to be rushing a test). I am very lucky to have an understanding manager and was granted a PTO day Friday to complete this test.

When I scheduled my test, I asked to speak to my doctor's nurse and of course she was not available. I have always been accustomed to looking up my own information on medical issues, but I really do wish doctors would be more forthcoming with the information on my own medical issues and what I need to do to help myself.

I think I'm just having a bad mental day. I feel very down today.